The poor can't help the poor

The poor can’t help the poor.

I heard this preached a few years ago when we were in a place of transition and I was wanting to fast track the process to come to Ethiopia.  I thought that maybe THIS was the reason why it still hadn’t happened.  We were far from rich and struggled to pay our bills even, yet trusted God always to supply our needs.  Ideas started rolling through my head about businesses I could start that would support us long term while we were in Ethiopia serving the “poor”. 

I arranged a meeting with a business coach to see how I could further my innovative ideas.  The whole meeting ended up being about how there was a LOT that I NEEDED to do before I even thought about moving to Ethiopia, all based on her theology about missions.  This totally left me discouraged and emotionally unrested about the possibility that her words were true!  Thankfully I had Connect Group that night and had friends who prayed for me and dispelled the lies that the enemy started placing in my mind. 

The poor can’t help the poor, was also quite possibly one of these lies.  Did Jesus come as a rich man to earth, desiring to be the financial solution for all those who had nothing?  No.  What is poverty anyway?  Is it relative?  Is it living week to week? Is it having nothing to call your own? Having no assets and a million liabilities?  Is it a spirit or mind set that can be broken? 

Like other situations in my life, where I’ve been told to earn more and displace other priorities in my life like my family, I decided to operate in the opposite to what I’d been advised.  As a couple we decided to sell our home, which inevitably made us poorer.  We had nothing to call our own as we left New Zealand, other than the belongings we carried in our 24 suitcases.  We had no business to feed into our bank account, no residual income, no interest accumulating in any investments we had made.  We literally left as poor people –not even sure of how we would make our monthly payments.

Poverty lingered in our destination and we had nothing to offer as far as money was concerned.  Oh, such an awkward situation to be in.  I mean, after all, aren’t all ferenjis (foreigners) meant to have stash loads of money when they come to places like Ethiopia?   Um, not these ferenjis.  We discovered that all we had to give was what we had in our hearts and in our experiences.

 

But somehow we saw God provide even though we had nothing.  Miraculously answering prayers and showing us how BIG He is and how much He loves to bless His children who walk in obedience to Him.  What was this?  HOPE we could share with those who had no hope about their own financial situation out of personal experience of God's provision - it became our testimony.  He also taught us that poverty is a mindset.  It’s a place of comparison where we think that we need MORE and desire to be like those who HAVE more.  Does that not describe most of the developed world?  It certainly described the environments where we came from and the people we worked with in South Auckland.

Through the process of trust that we went through and continue to go through, God has shown us His abundance, and He has done so even more in the past couple of months.  As I went to pay the USD$900 that we owed for our children’s visas and was thinking about how much money we were "wasting" God reminded me of a dream I had just prior to leaving New Zealand, after we sold our house.  My dream was about me making a cake for my friend.  I had to walk to her house along the road and through a school and as I walked along, people kept coming up and asking me for some cake.  I let them take some and piece by piece the cake became smaller and smaller until there were only crumbs left.  I asked God what this dreamt meant as it left me quite disturbed and I knew it was a God dream and didn’t want to miss the message He was sending.  I had my own interpretations which ended up being dismissed when I went to church that Sunday.  Ps Sam Monk shared a message about giving- I think he was going through a series at that time.  He said “Some people think that God’s provision is like a cake.  That we think that when God gives out that His supply runs out and that all is left are crumbs. But God’s supply is not like that…that His supply never runs out.”  This lesson has comforted me many times over the last year.  It changed my mindset before I left for Ethiopia.  My poverty mind set was gone and the mind set of abundance was born. 

God is a God of abundance.  He is able to create something out of nothing and He seemingly continues to do so in our lives . From this place, we are able to minister to those who may seem poor to the rest of the world, but whose faith and belief in what God is able to do is so much richer than most Christians in the developed world.  They have and continue to minister to us as we have ministered to them.  

Rev 12:11  And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. 

A New Season.

I never would have imagined ten years ago, that I would be sitting here in the Kuala Lumpur airport on my way back to Ethiopia.  I never would have imagined ten years ago, that I would have traveled as much as I have in the past year and have people travel to meet us and totally affect our lives so dramatically.  I remember being asked ten years ago where I wanted to be in ten years’ time and as a stay at home mother, I found it hard to see past the next day, let alone the next year or ten years.  Yes, I had dreams and aspirations, but they seemed far too ambitious and not very realistic.  Even the dream I held for Ethiopia.

I was sharing with a friend this week my thoughts on the whole stay-at-home mum season.  It really is a difficult season because there are no immediate rewards or appreciation.  Life is tough and you often feel isolated and frustrated because it feels like you aren’t really contributing to society or the better good…but now I see that actually you are…so much more than you can imagine. 

The season of staying home with your kids, with no audience or applause is really the season of character growth.  As attitudes and reactions manifest themselves through the pressure that is put on you by these little people who really have no idea what power they have on your life, STUFF is dealt with – if we so choose it to affect us in that way. 

Like I named my last blog post- Children are a blessing.  But sometimes it hard to see that through the mess they drag through the house, the continual requests (in tones often unpleasant to the ear) and the fights they have with each other.  I guess we are not anywhere near perfection yet, but sometimes there is a glimmer of satisfaction for all of those days spent at home, when one of my children says or does something that brings me great joy and makes me realize how actually amazing my kids are.

So that season has past, at least having little children at home has past…and I’m about to go into this new season as Ministry representative/Administrator for Blessing the Children Oz!  And I’m so excited about it.  And my children are excited about it and my husband has been amazingly supportive of it.  He is such a secure man right now. I couldn’t imagine ten years ago that he would be the man that he is today either.  I am so thankful for the changes God has allowed to happen in his life.

There is a challenge that lays ahead but I am thankful for the people God has placed around us to support us.  I am thankful for Glen and Catherine McIntyre and their belief in us to be able to do this thing and to hold down this responsibility.  I guess our gifts have made a way for us and as we inspire people to realize their gifts, that there will be a ripple effect of that. 

So BCO have a big vision and I guess I’ll unveil more as time permits, but please continue to keep us in your prayers.  Please keep believing that God can do far more with you than you could ever imagine.  Please know God’s grace to take someone like me and use me in such a way for the furtherance of His Kingdom around the world.  I am thankful that “God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong”

Children are a blessing

 I used to think that having a big family was a huge disadvantage in travel- in doing “mission work” in a third world country.  The costs, risks and excuses increase and so does the opposition- I mean, it’s okay if WE want to go overseas and do this thing, but if it’s not something the KIDS want to do, then surely we should consider their desires and dreams and accommodate them.  I guess this has become a part of New Zealand culture for sure, where the children’s needs and wants are at the forefront of a parents priorities.  But are children able to make decisions based on unseen future consequences?  No. Are their friends and family who want to see them grow up, develop and love them, also able to think about the best for these kids? I don’t believe so. 

“How can we have reverse culture shock, when we didn’t get culture shock in the first place?” says Jamal (15) as he eats his Red Rooster chicken like it’s on a plate of injera with his fingers.  This is his first trip back to the Western land of Australia after almost a year in Ethiopia.  His four brothers and sisters have neither been shocked so far in the past two days since we left “home” (that is, Ethiopia.)  He is right in some ways.  They really DIDN’T have much cultural shock when we arrived into Ethiopia nor in the months that followed.  They adjusted so so so much better than we could have hoped for.  They have managed to conquer their fears, their friendly natures and social abilities really worked to their advantage as they adjusted to the many differences that Ethiopia brought. 

What I must conclude and encourage is that doing mission work with many children can only be a good thing.  The environment is consistent as it is full of familiar people, language and the culture that a family develops over the years.  Not only this, but it requires a new level of companionship as a family that can only benefit your children.  Our family, though still far from perfect, is so much closer than when we were preparing to leave New Zealand a year ago. 

Then, my daughters would hardly give me kisses or cuddles any more- especially in front of their friends-not to mention their 14 year old brother.  Now they do- unashamedly.  This is one part of the Ethiopian culture that I love- their sense of physical affection and ability to give it without embarrassment-especially within the context of the family.  It puts us families to shame.  They also have times of prayer and fellowhips around coffee, which to some extent we have adopted but not nearly as much as the average Ethiopian families that we know and love.  They also put us to shame. 

But for ten months, we didn’t have a TV or playstation.  We had and enjoyed many family times, playing games, reading, having family devotions and prayers and getting out and playing games with others.  We have eaten in restaurants as a family as we can afford to do so in Ethiopia.  We have seen and experienced so much more which has only been beneficial to our children- even in the tough times where we have had to deal with certain challenges like being picked on or finding out our friends have HIV-the discussions and problem solving conversations that have come as a result will only have helped our kids to deal with bigger problems in the future.

It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out, that what we did, in taking our kids out of their naturaly environment in New Zealand and risking all, despite the opposition we faced from friends and family and those who don’t even know us, was worth it.  On the way out of Ethiopia, the lovely lady who served us in the airport, inempt with capacity to handle this group booking, said frustratedly to her colleague, in front of my children, that I had way too many kids.  Oh, what a false belief she holds.  How little does she know how much better then world is because my children exist.  How much joy they have brought not only to us, but to those we work with and love in Debre Zeiit and how much more they will bring into the lives of those they will touch throughout their lives because of this experience.  I love my kids so much.  They are the joy that has held me together many times throughout my adulthood. 

Psa 127:3-5  Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Nine months on...

So I must be the laziest blogger ever but once again I have to admit that there have been many blogs that have run through my mind since the last time I have blogged.  I do send out fortnightly email updates, however, so if you would like to get on my email list, then message me at the bottom of my blog.

I did want to update my blog on how life is going for us here in Debre Zeit Ethiopia.  I still struggle to pronounce Debre Zeit properly; I have to admit, so I love to write it as there is no pronunciation necessary.  There are a few words (that I have already learnt) that I struggle to pronounce properly, although I have acquired a whole lot of words in my Amharic vocabulary list, which I didn’t think I could do a few months ago.  I have come to the conclusion, that this will be my Ethiopian accent.  Most ESOL speakers don’t pronounce their words as we would so we just call it an accent- I’m sure my mispronunciation of Amharic can pass as the same. 

Well, we are almost done with our 42 week internship here with BCI.  The time has flown by so fast, it seems like we just got here.  But in a good way, it does seem like we’ve been here so long.  We have settled in, past the first two phases of “Culture Shock” and we are feeling like this is home-like for real home- not like the feeling we had when we first arrived. 

We have made new friends and have built trust that exceeds the definition of acquaintance and extends to the relationship we would define as family.  There is mutual respect although some respect and honour us far too much.  We are really inspired by those who we love here.  We have nothing to boast of but the grace of God which allows us to be here.  Even for those who admire us from afar, we can’t really comprehend their admiration for what else are we to do, but to do the will of God. 

Before we came, we were full of fear.  The task seemed so overwhelming and the sacrifice so great.  Yet the Bible always seemed to resonate with what we wanted to do.  Now, as we read the Bible, we see that actually, this is the NORM!  We are meant to be sent, to live courageously, to feed the poor, to advocate for the fatherless, to leave our home country.  We are not doing anything supernatural; we are just living in obedience to what God expects of His children.  No brownie points for being obedient either, because we have been so disobedient so many other times before.  It’s only because of Him that we are able to be obedient.

Today my son Matthias (who’s almost 9) was telling us about his lost lunch.  There is a boy whose family worship the devil that goes to school with him.  He thinks that he stole his lunch.  I started to get mad at the devil.  He has tried to rob us so many times of our inheritance.  He does steal from us, what rightfully belongs to us.  The Bible says he comes to steal, kill and destroy.  He makes his way seem too exciting, delightful, fun…yet the end is always filled with regret, hopelessness and shame.  He is not going to have his way in my life or my families! 

I love with the ministry here at Zion Church.  I love that they know their authority against the devil.  I love that they seek to restore to people what the devil has taken away.  We are starting an English service at their church this week.  We know that the devil doesn’t want this to succeed.  That it’s easier for him to kill a seed than to destroy a harvest.  And we believe that there will be a harvest because that’s what God called us here for.  Please pray for us this week as we begin this exciting new venture.  Pray for our protection and also pray for the harvest-  Mat 9:37-38 Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few;  therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest."

We have had such an amazing experience thus far, met some amazing people, and enjoyed some amazing company over some amazing food.  There have definitely been challenges but in all of that God has shown us so much more of Himself.  We have grown as a family- in confidence, in love and in our walk with God.  There are no limits to what we have ahead of us, other than limits we put on ourselves.  Thank you to all of you, who have encouraged us, read our updates, prayed for us and asked others to pray for us.  God has heard your prayers and He has lavished us with blessings beyond our imagination. 

Egzabiher Yirbakachu! (God bless you all!)

Love Rescue

A couple of weeks ago, we were able to spend time with a family from the States who were here to take their new daughter home after a long adoption process.  The daughter they take is very close to our hearts as she was the first Ethiopian girl to befriend our daughters.  Fluent in English, very hospitable, beautiful in nature and appearance, Lidiya opened her heart to our daughters, to us and thereby opened our hearts to her.

For the first time that week , I heard the story of Lidiya from her mom and her social worker.  This is the short/gap filled version of her story…but sufficient enough for you to get the picture.   Both of Lidiya’s parents died (her father first, then her mother) and she was left with her mother’s sister who took her under her care.  This aunty had a baby of her own, a beautiful girl we know as Haben.  Haben and Lidiya were like sisters but when Haben turned two, her mother left them both with her 13 year old sister Zenash while she went to live in Addis Ababa.  Abandoned and afraid, the three girls were left to fend for themselves in their little mud clad room in one of the darkest streets in Debre Zeit.  There were many nights where Zenash had nothing to feed the girls so she would give them water and tell them that this was their dinner. 

It just broke my heart to hear their story.  Zenash was in a place of desperation, as she did not have the capacity to look after these two babies.  The desperation got so bad that one day when some men came and offered Zenash some money to take Lidiya from her, she took the money and Lidiya went into a house that could have led to other places, if not for the intervention of the social worker and director from BCI who rescued her from their dirty hands. 

Somewhere along the way, BCI were able to take them into their programme and Lidiya came into contact with a short term missionary, whose name was Beth Trexel.  She asked Beth to take her home, to put her into her suitcase or find another way for her to go with her to America.  Lidiya cried out in desperation to her God, that He would rescue her from the life that seemingly was not the life of freedom she knew God wanted to give her.

God heard her cry.  God hears the cry of the broken and He rescues.  I was reminded of this yesterday as we said goodbye to Lidiya and prayed for God to use her in this new country she would call home. 

The Israelites were in the same position of desperation and they called out to God to rescue them:

Exo 2:23-25 During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for RESCUE from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel--and GOD KNEW.

So God pulled aside Moses and showed him what He would do:

Exo 3:7-10  Then the LORD said, "I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey... And now, behold, the cry of the people of Israel has come to me, and I have also seen the oppression with which the Egyptians oppress them. Come, I will SEND YOU to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt."

God uses PEOPLE –simple, plain people – even people who have made mistakes and who seem ill-equipped- to be rescuers. 

God is using the Trexel family to be that Love Rescue for Lidiya.  He wants to use so many more people to be Love Rescuers for Him.  There are so many people crying out to God to be rescued from their desperate situation.  He is calling people aside to be vessels of His Love because He sees and He knows their situation.  Unfortunately because of our limited abilities, we don’t know the whole situation so we don’t always feel like we necessarily need to or can be the rescuer.  But that is where faith and obedience comes into play.  If God says Go, we need to Go in faith that He will be there along the way. 

I love that God rescues.  He rescued me. 

“The rescued are often the best rescuers” – Israel Houghton.  Has God rescued you?  He will use you to rescue others.  

My name would be Michelle Fred Constantine - if I were born in Ethiopia

For the last 6 months, we have learnt many things about Ethiopia…a little language, a lot of food, a few cultural norms and a few paradigms of thought that need a little shifting.  There are challenges here as in any society, but it has made me think…if I were born in Ethiopia instead of New Zealand, if my parents had migrated here, rather than the land of the long white cloud, how different my life would be…This is a little of what it would or could look like –

My name (even though I’m married) would be Michelle Fred Constantine (Ethiopians take their Father’s name as a second name and Grandfathers name as their third name)

I would be born in 1970 on the 1^st of June (Ethiopia’s Calendar is 8 years and 8 days behind the Gregorian Calendar we use.)

I would have been born into a time of civil unrest as the Derge took over power here, abolishing the emperor rule of Haile Selassie. 

If born in Northern Ethiopia, at the age of six, I would have been affected by the drought and famine that wiped out one million people and could have possibly been one of those who died.

If born in a rural area, I would have been well trained to look after the household chores, like fetching water that could be half a day’s walk away, harvesting teff or making injera.  I could possibly even have to take my younger sibling on my back while making these long trips or doing these daily chores – left responsible for daily taking care of one or more babies in the home, learning to feed, clothe and bathe them while other girls in the city were able to attend school.

If I were born in a rural area and I didn’t seem to be of much use to my parents, or in fact, my parents had died of HIV or other diseases, I would be given away to someone in a city where I would work as a house slave from as young as 3 or 4 years old – never getting an opportunity to go to school and even sometimes being expected to marry the one who I was given away to –even if he was 20 years my senior.

If I were born in Southern Ethiopia and my bottom teeth grew out before my top teeth, I would be classified as “mingi” or cursed, and be forced to die by starvation or having dirt thrown down my mouth and left outside to suffocate.

If I were born in Eritrea, I would most likely have suffered the horrific violence of war as my tribe fought to become an independent state, living in fear and hatred to others who considered themselves to be like me.

If I were born in Ethiopia, the likelihood of me surviving my first five years would have been one in five.  If I did survive those first five years, the likelihood that I would have been severely underweight would have been one in three and if I had made it to my school years, the likelihood that I attended school would have been one in three.

If I were born in Ethiopia, I still would most likely have been a teenage mother.  If a man asked me to marry him at a young age, I would have no other choice but to say no.  In some areas, I would be made to walk everywhere while my husband enjoyed the luxury of riding on a horse.  I could possibly have to share him with other wives and made to bare many children – even though I couldn’t afford to feed them.    My husband, having caught HIV off one of his concubines, would have left me to care for these children alone and disabled me from being able to work because I had the children to care for-leaving me with only two choices- either to live off the little that we have in our garden or to move to Addis Ababa and beg. 

If I were born in Ethiopia and had my five children and volunteered as I do, there would be no government support for our family or even the NGO that we work for.  I would have to live in a small mud hut with a tin roof and barely be able to pay the rent for that apartment.  My children would attend classes for half a day and would share their classroom with up to 70 children.  They would know little English and struggle to transition into High School where they would have to learn in English which would be totally foreign to them since the government regulates Primary school learning in Amharic.

Though these stories are unthinkable to people like me who are brought up in New Zealand – which was recently researched as the least corrupt run country in the world- they are all scenarios of different people’s lives who I have met in Ethiopia.  These realities exist.  Though they are not the reality of me and my family, they are the harsh realities that people have to face every day. 

We can hear these stories or look at these people and think that they are not relevant to us, or we can look at what God says about them-

Mat 5:42  Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

Isa 1:17  Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause.

Jas_1:27  Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

So what will you do with the advantage given to you by your birth place?  What will you do with the blessings that have come into your life because of reasons that you had nothing to do with? Will you do something to help those, who for the very same reason will not be able to experience blessings?

Luk 6:38  Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you."

A shock to the system

I have had many “shocks to my system” since I have been in Ethiopia; different ways of life that I’ve had to adapt to that have made me step into the uncomfortable but that have also brought much needed change to my life.

There is a term, mainly used in the youth culture in South Auckland that says “Changes” – like it’s a bad thing.  The thing is that, most of the time, change is a good thing – if it’s change for the better or change that comes with growth.  People use it because they are uncomfortable with other people changing, but people need to change in order to grow, to find their place in this world and to be able to move into their purpose in life.

Anyway, back to my point…I have had to change in many ways here.  One of the “shock to the systems” for me, was realizing that I had to cook three meals a day for my family.  This has come because of the lack of cereals available for breakfast (the only really affordable breakfast meal here is Oats-so porridge is our main breakfast), the culture of having cooked food for lunch (which means sandwiches and bread are usually exclusive as breakfast meals-and also lack of sandwich fillings available also) and cooking dinner probably became more intense when we had visitors stay with us for 6 weeks.

This has meant that my sleep in time while Asaua gets the kids ready for school (which I am ashamed to say has happened for quite some time) has slowly evaporated into thin air.  It took a while…I would ask Jamal to cook breakfast and I would get up in time to cook lunch…I would make the kids pack their own lunch and I think even for a period, Asaua was cooking breakfast because he was getting up early to go for runs – I mean, who does that??

Me.  I have started now getting up early to go for runs.  It was really hard at first and at the same time I was doing the Daniel fast so energy levels weren’t so good-especially when I cut out the coffee!  But now it’s become a habit, and it gives me time to compose myself in the morning so I’m not drooling over the breakfast pot or trying to see through my sleep as I cut onions. 

Food here is something you have to get used to.  A trip to Kenya to stock up on spices and dairy is not a bad idea either.  There are limits to what you can buy, but there is also an abundance of really good vegetables and now fruit!  Plums, mangoes, bananas and strawberries are now in season and  they are all so cheap and taste soooo good!

You can also get fresh juices, that at the moment are avocado (yes, avocado), pineapple, mango and guava all mixed together.  Oh, these are so good.  Fresh vegetables to make salads are also available.  I just finished a 21 day Daniel fast which eliminates sugar, yeast, meat, dairy, and processed foods from your diet.  I thought that doing the Daniel fast here would be so hard, but it was actually easier than I have found it in New Zealand.  There are so many natural foods here that are prepared, and fasting these types of foods are done by Orthodox Christians twice a week, so there are alternative options available at every café and restaurant.  There are peanuts, fresh chickpeas, barley, injera (which is made from Tef), lentils and beans which are all locally grown and are so fresh.  I can see your mouth drooling right now lol. 

         See that Beet(root) ^ it's not out of a can- who knew!?

Another shock to the system I experienced here was more than literal.  Earlier here, I had eaten some Ethiopian food and immediately started feeling nauseous, which lead to sweaty, which lead to my head down the toilet numerous times in a period of 24 hours.  Not long after, I had the same experience and concluded that I was allergic to Ethiopian food.  I have since narrowed down exactly what I am allergic to and haven’t had any such bad experiences since. 

So I am back to eating Ethiopian food- loving it actually and thinking that if I keep the Ethiopian diet up, that maybe I will have an Ethiopian figure haha-or even just a healthy heart-as long as I limit the amount of oil that I use in the cooking. 

Other minor/non-food adjustments we have had to make are as follows:

Having a daily skin Vaseline bathing routine (to keep the kids skin from drying out due to the cold mornings and hot days)

Not having instant coffee, but rather having coffee that takes a good hour to prepare and consume.

Sporadic power and water outages =T.I.A

Squatting toilets at the most unconvenient times

Not having washing machine (for more info on this, check out my friend Jonnett's blog here

Shoes and clothes shops not having my size –more importantly in the shoes

Not driving myself or family around for the last 5 months (sometimes very frustrating)

But who said adjustments weren't part of moving to another country? No-one. It's all part and package of the life we signed up for and I love it!